Building Emotional Immunity

We run into difficulties sometimes, and questions follow.

• What part of this experience am I responsible for?

• What does not belong to me? How do we divide and conquer?

We can ask ourselves the same questions when we experience a wave of emotional energy or a lack of it. An indication that something we are feeling isn’t right is that we might struggle to digest the emotion. Like the concept of food tolerance and digestion, we can experience emotional indigestion. Let’s take an example from food: To digest food, our body needs the support of enzyme protein housed and produced within the digestive system to break down the food and distribute the necessary nutrients into our bloodstream. On an Emotional level, the same thing can be true.

One of the first things that are done when struggling with digestion is observing dietary consumption. The obvious reason for the high average of sensitivities to food and emotions nowadays is that so much of the food and experiences are processed, meaning they are distanced from their authentic source. The logic: the more preservatives and additives there are, the longer they can last on a shelf and the more difficult it is for the body to break down. On an Emotional level, there is a lot of investment and focus in the external environment that distracts the connection to the individual self (we rely on others and live through others) in hopes that we will gain love and acceptance but in truth, “The only way to feel good is to FEEL GOOD.”

So how do we connect and identify our feeling while there is so much noise around how we are “Supposed” to feel?

Let’s break it down to understand it. Everything we experience emotionally has a physical action that mirrors it. For example, if we are in shock, there is usually a sharp inhale of awe as we draw breath into our lungs and swallow this traveling and documenting itself at the pit of our stomachs. Another physical expression would be crossing your arms in front of the chest to protect yourself, building tension/ flexing muscles restricting physical and emotional flow, or reaching your hands behind you to conceal something. An easy one, lowering our heads when we feel shame. The body documents the experience.

Another piece is that when we are looking for answers, there is a lot of movement in the body, but just like with a lake, looking at your reflection, the stiller the water, the clearer the detail you will be able to see in the reflection. Slowing down, find and create a safe and quiet space to filter through and identify what emotion belongs to you and what might not. To get closer to identifying our feelings, like with food, the body has to be capable of absorbing the nutrients. If you run a five-mile run after a four-course meal, your stomach is guaranteed to hurt. Rest is necessary. And like an onion, there are layers. A digestible emotion might be masked in many layers, and to get to the center, we need time and patience to trust the body will know when the right. For example, an emotion might start out with the first thing that comes to mind (consulting the mind rather than the body) as anger, sadness, or feeling unloved, but somehow the body rejects it if we are building a story rather than feeling feelings. As we search, we will speak to people and get opinions that sometimes seem convincing but still have trouble digesting them because we are getting insight into someone else’s experience without consulting our own body.

The emotions that do present themselves will help you identify and take responsibility for what is important to you as an individual. Stepping into our own independence rather than pointing fingers at another person and blaming them for the way it feels. Instead, we can turn to ourselves and ask: What about this is not supportive to me in my personal life or my experience? Really being honest rather than finding fault. We each have a value system that we use to process emotion and live by, and if something doesn’t go our way, it’s an opportunely to ask: in this situation, what would be supportive right now?

Until Next time.

Esther