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Navigating Self-Reliance with Esther Levy
In our lives, the reliance on others for our well-being can unintentionally cultivate a landscape of anxiety, speculation, and the unknown. This dependence not only fosters uncertainty but also breeds patterns that may not serve our best interests.
The Cycle of Dependency
When we lean too heavily on others for our happiness and fulfillment:
It generates anxiety.
Leads to speculative thinking.
Creates an environment filled with unknowns.
And ultimately, forms habits that shape us, sometimes to our detriment.
“First, we form habits, and then they form us. Conquer your bad habits, or they will conquer you.” — Rob Gilbert.
This sentiment is echoed by Rav Yitzchak Ginsburg, who speaks to the essence of The Order of being: Purpose, Partner, and then Life.
The Journey to Self-Reliance
In the past, I’ve personally struggled with prioritizing others’ opinions over my own, which led to a diminished sense of self-worth.
The key to mastering one’s life lies in practical thinking and taking full responsibility for one’s future.
We often delegate our well-being to others, like a boss for financial security, a mother for emotional support, or a doctor for health.
This delegation can prevent us from taking full charge of our experiences.
We must realize that if we attribute our happiness to someone else, we also place the blame on them for our dissatisfaction.
The Path to Recovery
In a great podcast, Paul Chek and Dr. Robert Gilbert suggest that illness should not be seen as a sealed fate but as a key to recovery.
Each problem presents an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.
My own recent experience with right shoulder pain taught me the value of taking action to remove stress and viewing challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles.
I learned that the source of the pain in my shoulder was due to inflammation in my liver! I know. Right?
Well, I know I am sensitive to gluten, and the more I learned about inflammation, the easier it was to connect the dots.
The Power of Self-Reliance
- Self-reliance reduces anxiety and grants time freedom.
- It’s crucial to seek what we need independently rather than expecting it from others.
- Good communication with ourselves and our environment is the starting point.
Questions for Self-Reflection
Where are you now? Imagine where staying in your current situation will lead you in 10 years.
2. Where do you want to go? Envision the shift you desire and where it could take you, guided by your intuition.
3. How will you get there? Focus on skill development and designing your life. Make lists of what’s working and what’s not.
Living a Deeper Life
Understanding the natural components of every experience, as outlined in דרך ה (The Way of God), can illuminate our path:
- The Whole vs. The Part
- The General vs. The Particular
- The Cause vs. The Effect
- The Object itself vs. The Associated qualities
It’s not about choosing one over the other but finding the right perspective and approach for growth.
As we navigate the fast pace of our days, remember: life is an experience meant to flow through us, not get trapped within. By recognizing our capacity for self-reliance and effective communication, we open doors to a life of autonomy, purpose, and joy.
You have what it takes!
