Power, Responsibility, and the Questions We Ask

We all want to feel powerful. Not in the sense of control over others, but in the sense of personal empowerment — feeling capable, valuable, and in charge of our own lives.

Yet, how often do we truly recognize the responsibility that comes with that empowerment?

So many of us crave freedom, flexibility, and the ability to make our own choices. But when it comes to actually stepping up and taking responsibility for those choices, we hesitate. We want the benefits of power, but not always the work that comes with it. And when we avoid responsibility, we unknowingly limit our own power.

What if, instead of seeing responsibility as a burden, we saw it as the key to unlocking real empowerment?

Power Is Not Superiority — It’s an Internal Force

True power isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s not about dominance or control. Instead, it’s about an internal sense of worth and independence.

• Self-worth vs. Confidence: Self-worth is the foundation of empowerment. It’s different from confidence, which is built through experience and trust. Without self-worth, confidence feels hollow.

• Empowerment fluctuates: It’s an energy that rises and falls. Some days, we feel strong and capable. Other days, we feel small. The key is knowing that our value doesn’t disappear just because our energy shifts.

• Independence breeds empowerment: The more we take responsibility for our lives, the more empowered we feel. Avoiding responsibility leaves us feeling powerless, waiting for others to step in and make things right.

Have you ever felt stuck, waiting for something outside of you to change? That feeling often comes from resisting responsibility, from wanting things to improve without having to take uncomfortable action.

But what if the very thing we avoid is what could set us free?

Responsibility Is the Path to Freedom

Most people don’t resist power — they resist responsibility.

Why? Because responsibility means being accountable for outcomes. It means owning both successes and failures. And that can feel scary.

But here’s the truth:

• Responsibility increases flexibility. The more we take ownership of our choices, the more control we have over shaping our future.

• Avoidance creates stagnation. If we resist responsibility, we stay stuck, repeating patterns instead of growing.

• Judgment is the biggest barrier. Many of us fear stepping up because we worry about what others will think if we fail. But in reality, avoiding responsibility often leads to more judgment — both from others and from ourselves.

When we embrace responsibility, we gain humility. We learn to respect the effort it takes to achieve something. We stop assuming things come easily to others and instead, recognize the hard work behind success.

If you’ve ever mastered a skill — whether it’s writing, cooking, or navigating relationships — you know this truth: The shortest way is always the long way.

We gain wisdom not by avoiding challenges but by engaging with them fully.

The Questions We Ask Shape Our Reality

One of the most powerful tools we have in life is the ability to ask questions.

Not just of others, but of ourselves.

There are two primary types of questioning:

1️⃣ Closed Questions — These invite short, specific answers, often “yes” or “no.” They are useful for setting boundaries and getting clear information.

• Example: “Are you available to talk?” or “Do you like this?”

2️⃣ Open Questions — These encourage deeper exploration and discussion. They invite more information and allow for a wider range of responses.

• Example: “What do you think about this?” or “How did that experience feel for you?”

Most of us use closed questions when we feel defensive or when we’re trying to control a situation. But open questions allow for growth, connection, and deeper understanding.

• When we feel empowered, our questions are open. We’re curious, engaged, and willing to explore different perspectives.

• When we feel defensive, our questions are closed. We’re looking for quick answers, often to confirm what we already believe.

In conversations — whether with partners, children, or colleagues — pay attention to the questions you ask.

Are you truly seeking understanding? Or are you just trying to steer the outcome in a direction that feels safe?

The way we communicate reflects our relationship with power and responsibility. If we’re afraid of responsibility, we often avoid open-ended conversations because they might lead us to places we don’t want to go.

But true empowerment comes from being willing to ask, listen, and learn.

How Power, Responsibility, and Communication Intertwine

Here’s the simplest way to think about it:

• Taking responsibility = More personal power.

• More personal power = A more open and flexible approach to life.

• A more open approach to life = Better communication and deeper relationships.

Everything is connected. The more we embrace responsibility, the more empowered we feel. The more empowered we feel, the less defensive we become. The less defensive we are, the more openly we communicate. And the more open our communication, the better our relationships, work, and overall experience of life become.

This isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress.

Reflection Questions to Apply This in Your Life

1️⃣ Where am I resisting responsibility in my life?
 2️⃣ Am I waiting for someone else to make a decision instead of stepping up?
 3️⃣ How do I communicate when I feel defensive — do I use more closed or open questions?
 4️⃣ Where can I take action today to feel more empowered?

Power isn’t about waiting for things to change. It’s about recognizing that you have the ability to shape your own life — one choice, one responsibility, and one conversation at a time.

• Esther

For one on one coaching Contact ​[email protected]​

📖 My book It’s Personal is here:​https://www.amazon.com/author/estherdresdner

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