Hello friends,

I hope this message finds you in good spirits.

Today, I want to discuss "The Halo Effect" and its impact on our mental and emotional health. It's about how healthy emotions can pave the way for clear thinking, but sometimes, life gets a bit messy.

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by the chaos of daily life?

As a mom, juggling work with a disorganized house and endless chores often leaves me feeling stuck and unsure of my next move.

During these moments, my motivation seems to just evaporate, casting a shadow over my mood and the rest of my day. I find myself looking around, questioning if I've really accomplished anything at all.

This usually ends with me feeling unproductive and aimless, spiraling into thoughts like, "What's the point?"

It's a classic example of the "Halo Effect."

The Halo Effect is a psychological phenomenon where we generalize someone's character based on one trait. Like assuming pretty people are kind, or rich people are wise.

But it can work in reverse too - for instance, thinking someone with dirty clothes is lazy or disorganized.

This term was coined by psychologist Edward Thorndike in 1920. He noticed it in military evaluations - how one trait influenced a general assessment of a person. It's like filling in the gaps in our understanding with assumptions.

In earlier lectures, I shared this as “filling in the gap.” The space in between. 

Anne D. LeClaire, in her book "The Halo Effect," describes this beautifully: "In the field of memory, land mines were buried everywhere, easily tripped.”

Back to my story - sometimes, all I need to do to break this cycle of negative thinking is just one positive action.

• take a shower

• making my bed

• going for a walk

One thing can flip the script and bring about a positive Halo Effect.

One thing! It can be as simple as opening a window.

In self-help and healing, the Halo Effect can make us think some therapies or practices are more effective than they really are, just because they worked well in a similar situation.

It's important to remember that a solution for one problem might not fix another. We should carefully choose our paths in life to strengthen our emotional resilience. 

Use your education and support as motivation to do the physical work. Make a list and start somewhere. No one is better than you; it might be easier for them to start.

From there, build consistency where you tell yourself: I will show up for myself no matter what, and the results will give you the encouragement you need to continue. 

Patrick Süskind, in "Perfume: The Story of a Murderer," captures this notion: “People are stupid and use their noses only for blowing, but believe absolutely anything they see with their eyes, they will say it is because this is a girl with beauty and grace and charm.”

^{_{So, what do I do when I'm feeling down?}}

Instead of spiraling, I pause and do some mental math. I ask myself what's causing the most pressure and try to eliminate it. Then, I think of one thing that could support me – maybe it's:

• buy flowers

• enjoy a meal

• take a nap

Anne D. LeClaire says it best:

“The cure for everything is salt water—sweat, tears, or the sea.”

If you're ever feeling unsure and insecure, here's a simple test: 

Ask yourself if what you're doing allows you to be comfortable in your body. It's a small question that can bring immense clarity.

Until next time, take care and remember to look for the halo in your life, even on cloudy days. It's not all or nothing. Rather, the way you see one thing is the way you see everything.

Esther.